Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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