Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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