I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
