so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
