I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
