oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
