I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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