Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
The ass gains better be worth it
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
