So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
