absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize