She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
