is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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