Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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