ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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