I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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