I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
