she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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