we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize