she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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