a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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