Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
