DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
