Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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