is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
