i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
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