dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
