who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
