I wanna passion pit in your ass
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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