Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
