This girl is more easily done than said...
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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