Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It was a blind-side dick pic.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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