Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
