So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize