dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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