No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
What a dumb baby whore.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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