so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
