i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
