porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
