True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I had to cum in my sink.
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