I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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