That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
