Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
