sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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