I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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