I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
