I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
