discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
