so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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