Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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