hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
