Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
