Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
