ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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