You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
