Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
