I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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