I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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