I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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