Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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