We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have already put on my inside pants.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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