is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
