I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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