do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
