Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
