Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
