the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just pynch a tree in the face
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
