its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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